They tell
me it's nearly died out now--and no wonder, with everythink a cure for
it--but this article is a _certain_ remedy. All you've got to do is to bite
off a corner of the glorss, takin' care to be near a public 'ouse at the
time, chew the glorss into small fragments, enter the public 'ouse, call
for a pot o' four ale, and drink it orf quick. It operates in this way--the
minoot portions of the glorss git between the jaws of the microbe,
preventin' 'im from closin' 'is mouth, and thereby enablin' you to
suffocate 'im with the four ale. (_To the Reader._) Will you allow me to
show you how this little invention takes a photograph, Sir? kindly 'old it
in your 'and, breathe on it, and look steadily on the plate for the space
of a few seconds. (_All of which the Reader, being the soul of courtesy,
obligingly does--and is immediately rewarded by observing the outline of a
donkey's head produced upon the glass._) Now if you'll 'and that round,
Sir, to allow the company to judge whether it ain't a correct likeness--
[_But here the Reader will probably prefer to pass on._
_Third S.C._ (_who is crouching on ground by a tin case, half covered with
a rug, and yelling_). Ow-ow-ow-ow!... Come an' see the wonderful little
popsy-wopsy Marmoseet, what kin tork five lengwidges, walk round, shake
'ands, tell yer 'is buthday, 'is percise age, and where he was keptured!
[_Crowd collects to inspect this zoological phenomenon, which--as soon
as an inconvenient Constable is out of hearing--reveals itself as an
illicit lottery.
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