My mother-in-law
wants to make a Spiritualist of her. Laura wants her to be an
artist; the governess wants her to be a Methodist, old Margret a
Baptist, and the servant-girls want her to join the Salvation Army!
It won't do to try to make a soul in patches like that. I, who have
the chief right to try to form her character, am constantly opposed
in my efforts. And that's why I have decided to send her away from
home.
PASTOR. You have too many women trying to run this house.
CAPTAIN. You're right! It's like going into a cage full of tigers,
and if I didn't hold a red-hot iron under their noses they would
tear me to pieces any moment. And you laugh, you rascal! Wasn't it
enough that I married your sister, without your palming off your
old stepmother on me?
PASTOR. But, good heavens, one can't have stepmothers in one's own
house!
CAPTAIN. No, you think it is better to have mothers-in-law in some
one else's house!
PASTOR. Oh well, we all have some burden in life.
CAPTAIN. But mine is certainly too heavy. I have my old nurse into
the bargain, who treats me as if I ought still to wear a bib. She
is a good old soul, to be sure, and she must not be dragged into
such talk.
PASTOR. You must keep a tight rein on the women folks. You let them
run things too much.
CAPTAIN. Now will you please inform me how I'm to keep order among
the women folk?
PASTOR. Laura was brought up with a firm hand, but although she is
my own sister, I must admit she _was_ pretty troublesome.
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