One thought there is, in closing, that impresses itself upon me, with
ever growing insistence. It is, that I live in a very strange house; a
very awful house. And I have begun to wonder whether I am doing wisely
in staying here. Yet, if I left, where could I go, and still obtain the
solitude, and the sense of her presence,[1] that alone make my old
life bearable?
_XIV_
THE SEA OF SLEEP
For a considerable period after the last incident which I have narrated
in my diary, I had serious thoughts of leaving this house, and might
have done so; but for the great and wonderful thing, of which I am
about to write.
How well I was advised, in my heart, when I stayed on here--spite of
those visions and sights of unknown and unexplainable things; for, had I
not stayed, then I had not seen again the face of her I loved. Yes,
though few know it, none now save my sister Mary, I have loved and,
ah! me--lost.
I would write down the story of those sweet, old days; but it would be
like the tearing of old wounds; yet, after that which has happened, what
need have I to care? For she has come to me out of the unknown.
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