It was many a day since he had done so, but also she had not heard his
step pause at her door for many a day. She could not bear to face it all
now; she must have time to think, to plan her course--the last course of
all. For she knew that the next step must be the last step in her old
life, and towards a new life, whatever that might be. A great sigh of
relief broke from her as she heard his door open and shut, and silence
fell on everything, that palpable silence which seems to press upon the
night-watcher with merciless, smothering weight.
How terribly active her brain was! Pictures--it was all vivid pictures,
that awful visualisation of sorrow which, if it continues, breaks the
heart or wrests the mind from its sanity. If only she did not see! But
she did see Eglington and the Woman together, saw him look into her eyes,
take her hands, put his arm round her, draw her face to his! Her heart
seemed as if it must burst, her lips cried out. With a great effort of
the will she tried to hide from these agonies of the imagination, and
again she would approach those happy confines of sleep, which are the
only refuge to the lacerated heart; and then the weapon of time on the
mantelpiece would clash on the shield of the past, and she was wide awake
again.
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