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Smith, Francis Hopkinson, 1838-1915

"The Under Dog"


"'His Lordship's waitin' in the hall for ye,' said his man, and I jumped
off me box and wint inside.
"'Fin,' said His Lordship, speakin' low, 'there's a lady dinin' wid me
and the wine's gone to her head, and she's that full that if she waits
until her own carriage comes for her she won't git home at all! Go back
and get on yer cab wid yer fingers to yer hat, and I'll bring her out
and put her in meself. It's dark and she won't know the difference. Take
her down to Cadogan Square--I don't know the number, but ye can't miss
it, for it's the fust white house wid geraniums in the winders. When ye
git there ye're to git down, help her up the steps, keepin' yer mouth
shut, unlock the door, and set her down on the sofa. You'll find the
sofa in the parlor on the right, and can't miss it. Then lay the key on
the mantel--here it is. After she's down, step out softly, close the
door behind ye, ring the bell, and some of her servants will come and
put her to bed. She's often took that way and they know what to do.


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