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Smith, Francis Hopkinson, 1838-1915

"The Under Dog"


And last--and this is by no means a large class--the grave, dignified,
self-possessed, well-mannered waiter; smooth-shaven, spotlessly clean,
noiseless, smug and attentive. He generally walks with a slight limp, an
infirmity due to his sedentary habits and his long acquaintance with his
several employers' decanters. He is never under fifty, is round of form,
short in the legs, broad of shoulder, and wears his gray hair cut close.
He has had a long and varied experience; he has been buttons, valet,
second man, first man, lord high butler, and then down the scale again
to plain waiter. This has not been his fault but his misfortune--the
settling of an estate, it may be, or the death of a master. He has, with
unerring judgment, summed you up in his mind before you have taken your
seat, and has gauged your intelligence and breeding with the first dish
you ordered. Intimate knowledge of the world and of men and of
women--especially the last--has developed in him a distrust of all
things human.


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