He would not then have believed anyone who
had told him that he would really hear of his appointment and be so
little glad. Yet for two whole years the loss of the hope had
weighed on him, and made him dull whenever he thought of grown-up
life, heard of the sea, or was asked what he was to be: and almost
always, at his prayers, he had that meaning in his mind, when he said
"Thy Will be done;" he had really submitted patiently, and tried to
put away the longing from his mind, and would, there can be no doubt,
have been happy and dutiful at home; but at length the wish of his
heart was suddenly granted.
And then, wish though it still were, there came all this grief and
discomfort. The gladness was in him somewhere, but he could not get
at it, either for his own comfort, or that of his father. He missed
his mother exceedingly. SHE would know what he meant, and tell Papa
that he did care to go. Yet, did he care so very much? Only think
of beginning to be a stranger at this dear old home! and seeing no
mother, no Susie, nor any of them, for years together--probably not
his father after the first voyage! However, the sailor was too
strong in Sam for that grief not to pass off; and his chief trouble
was the sense of supplanting Henry.
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