But you give me much more credit for doing what I did than I have
any right to receive. While I know that I would do the same now,
to give you pleasure and save you pain, as readily as I did it then
from a worse motive, I must confess to you that I did it, almost
solely I fear, to show you that a Yankee girl, even though a teacher
of a colored school, could be as proud as a Southern lady. I did it
to humiliate _you._ Please forgive me; but it is true, and I
cannot bear to receive your praise for what really deserves censure.
I have been ashamed of myself very many times for this unworthy
motive for an act which was in itself a good one, but which I am
glad to have done, even so unworthily.
"I thank you for your love, which I hope I may better deserve
hereafter. I inclose the paper which you sent me, and hope you
will destroy it at once. I could not take the property you have so
kindly devised to me, and you can readily see what trouble I should
have in bestowing it where it should descend as an inheritance.
"Do not think that I need it at all. I had a few thousands which
I invested in the great West when I left the South, three years
ago, in order to aid those poor colored people at Red Wing, whose
sufferings appealed so strongly to my sympathies. By good fortune
a railroad has come near me, a town has been built up near by and
grown into a city, as in a moment, so that my venture has been
blessed; and though I have given away some, the remainder has
increased in value until I feel myself almost rich.
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