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Locke, David Ross, 1833-1888

"His Letters To The Public Press, During The Year 1866."

The Kernelcy wich wuz given to Custar to keep him
in posishen hed bin promised to a Demokratic captin, who wuz led by a
company in the first Bull Run fight, and who threw up in disgust the
next day, not likin the manner in wich the war wuz bein conducted; but
now the Kernelcy wuz gone, and Custar too; and wat wuz worse, there wuz
no sich thing to be thot uv ez dismissin him. The entire company
yoonited in minglin their teers.
The next letter wuz read by Seward, ez it wuz addressed to him. It wuz
from Raymond. He opened with the remark that for the Presidential office
he hed the highest respeck. Aside from the considerashen that it hed bin
wunst okkepied by the good Washinton, the great Adams, and the sainted
Linkin, the President mite be considered the Father of his country,
hevin so large a number of helpless children to provide for; and
besides, he hed a instinctive respeck for the dispenser of anything. It
wuz difficult for him, bein a open and simple-minded man, not to adhere
to the President; but--
"Good Heavens!" shreeked Johnson, "that little fox ain't a goin to speak
uv HIS reputashen!"
"Dooty requires the reedin uv the entire dockeyment, painful to my
feelins ez it may be," sed Seward. "He concloods thusly:--
"'I am forced to ask yoo, ez one enjoyin confidenshel relations with Him
who occupies the Presidenshel chair, to hev it given out that I stand in
opposition to him.


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