Morton, Ben Butler and Carl Shurz, Kelly and Covode,
while Chase wuz tied to Horis Greely, onto whose back wuz a placard,
inscribed, "The last uv the Tribunes;" at wich Raymond, who left the
Radikels and declared for the empire at precisely the rite time, and wuz
now editor of the _Court Journal_, laffed immodritly. Some one
exclaimed, "Bring in Thad Stevens!" at wich His Majesty turned pale, and
his knees smote together. "Don't, don't!" sez he; "he's strength enuff
left to wag his tongue. Keep him away! keep him away!" and he showed ez
much fear ez men do in delirum tremens when they see snakes.
Methawt I made inquiries, and found that things wuz workin satisfactory.
Gen. Grant wuz in exile, and Gen. Sheridan hed bin decapitatid for
refoosin to acquiesce in the new arrangement. The country hed bin
divided into dookdoms and earldoms, and sich, over wich the nobility
rooled with undispooted authority. The principal men uv the North hed
been capcherd and subdooed, and wuz a fillin menial positions in the
palaces uv the nobility. No Lord or Dook or Earl considered himself well
served onless he hed a half dozen Northern Congressmen in his house,
while the higher grade uv nobility wuzn't content with anythin less than
Guvners. The indebtednis uv the South to the North hed bin adjustid. A
decree hed bin ishood to the effect that Northern merchants who shood
press a claim agin a Southerner shood be beheaded and his goods
confistikated.
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