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Locke, David Ross, 1833-1888

"His Letters To The Public Press, During The Year 1866."


"Bring in the wretch!" shouted the President; and the guard brung him
in. A mizable lookin objick he wuz. Ez soon ez he saw the stern eye uv
the President fixed on him, he sunk to his knees, and lifted up his
hands implorinly, without sayin a word.
"Speak!" sed the President. "Why the result in yoor Deestrict?"
"My liege," replied the wretched man, "I know not. Faithfully I labored;
but the people wood come into the house holdin their noses, and set a
holdin uv em so long ez I wuz speekin, wich wuzn't conducive to displays
of oratory. The papers wood publish my own utterances six months before,
wich confused me somewhat; and the ablishnists would read at me yoor
speeches, wich I coodent akkount for. I seekoored for yoo suthin like a
dozen votes; but they wuz them ez stipulated for places under me, and I
hed hard work to git em from the Union party, and they wuz sich ez did
us more harm than good. And besides--"
"Enuff!" sed Johnson, "Remove him."
And the poor fellow wuz bundled out.
Secretary Welles knowd wat wuz the matter. It come uv takin Grant and
Farrygut along on the excursion. It distracted the attention uv the
people. Hed there bin nobody but the President and the Cabinet along,
there woodent hev bin nobody to hurrah for, and the sublime trooths,
wieh the President kin only jerk, wood hev impressed the people more
than they did.


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