Sich ez violated these ordinances shood be arrested by anybody, and
fined; and in default uv payment uv the fine and costs, shood be sold to
the person who wood take his or her labor for the shortest number uv
years, and pay the fine and costs aforesed. "Ez a conservative," sed the
Deekin, "I sejest this plan."
"Do yoo want to know my definition uv the word 'conservative?'" sed Joe
Bigler, a returned Confederate soljer, who, I bleeve, hez seen enough uv
war. "It's a man who goes a roundabout way to do a devlish mean thing.
Deekin, why can't yoo go to the devil by a straight road, ez I do?"
The interupshen uv the demoralized wretch wuzn't notist; and ez the
trustees uv the township wuz all present, the ordinance wuz passed, and
that night two thirds uv the niggers within five miles uv the Corners
wuz arrested and sold, and within two weeks every one hed bin capcherd.
I hied me to the Corners, and the first man I saw wuz Bascom, the
grocery keeper, engaged in the congenial biznis uv tappin a barrel uv
contentment, wich he hed just receeved. I wuz a goin to tell him the
dread intelligence, when he caught site uv me. "Taste that, Parson," sed
he, holdin out a tin dipper full. I drank it off, and one look at him
onmand me. "Kin I o'ercloud that smilin cheek?" thot I, ez, in a fit uv
absent-mindednis,--wich I hev every now and then,--I held out the empty
dipper to be filled agin, wich it wuz.
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