I wuz walkin
one afternoon, when I met this identical angel. She saw my bloo kote,
and enraged, spit in my face with sich energy that she threw out uv her
mouth a full sett uv false teeth. I returned em gallantly, wiped my face
with my handkercher, and vowed that handkercher shood henceforth be kept
sacred. It wuz; and when I seed her wavin hern at our party, I wept like
a Philadelphia Convenshen. I stopped the carriage, met the patriotic
female, called her attention to the incident, and handed her my
handkercher which hed, four years before, wiped her spittle. The
incident gave new vigor to her arms, and from that time she waved two
handkerchers, and mine wuz one uv em. I narrated the insident to the
President, and he wept.
There wuz a large perceshen and a great variety of banners. Among the
most noticeable, wuz a company uv solgers uv the late war, each with a
leg off, dressed in the gray uniforms into wich they hed been mustered
out, with this motto: "We are willin to go the other leg for A. Jonson."
Another company uv solgers, who hed each lost an arm, carried this
inscription: "What we didn't get by bullets, we shel get by ballots."
The President cut down his speech jest one half here. In swingin around
the cirkle he omitted to menshen that he found traitors on the Southern
side uv it.
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