"Spozn the Bible prodigal hed stopped his parient, and remarked to him
thus: 'I am willin to come back, on conditions. Yoo must pay my
debts--yoo must give me an ekal share uv the farm with the other
boys--yoo must treat me in all respecks just ez ef I hadn't gone out,
and--this is essential--yoo must take with me all the sharpers who
ruined me, all the gamblers and thieves with whom I fell in while I wuz
away, and make them head men on the place; and above all, I hev with me
the two harlots wich wuz the prime cause of my ruin, and they must hev
eleven of the best rooms in the house, and must be treated ez your
daughters. To avoid displeasin the others, I'll dress em in different
clothes, but here they must stay. Otherwise, I'll go out agin.'
"Probably the old gentleman wood hev become indignant, and would hev
remarked to him to go, and never let him see his audacious face agin, or
rather, he would hev strangled the harlots, scattered the blacklegs, and
choked the young sprout into submission. Them's me. I am anxious to kill
that fatted calf, and am also anxious to put on yoo robes and shoes.
But, alas! the calf suffered from want uv attention so long doorin the
late misunderstandins that he's too poor--the robes wuz all cut up into
bloo kotes for the soljers we sent out to fetch you in--the shoes they
wore out, and the rings--Jeff'son Davis wears the only style we hev.
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