The house wuz full. The weather wuz hot, and the pleasant incense uv
mingled whiskey, tobacco, and snuff wich ariz wuz grateful to me. The
sun shone in on Deekin Pogram's face ez he gently slept, and when the
sun hits him square I kin alluz tell wher he sets, even ef it is dark.
He drinks apple-jack instead of corn whiskey, and chaws fine cut
tobacker instead uv plug, and consekently when in the pulpit I kin
distinguish the pecooliar aroma uv his breath from those around him.
"My brethren," sed I, "sich uv yoo ez hev Bibles in yoor houses, kin get
somebody to read yoo the parable to wich I shel call yoor attention. A
man, wunst upon a time, hed sons, ez many men hev since, and wun uv em
wuz a tough one. He left his home and went into far countries, makin the
old man shel out his share uv the estate, and he lived high, jist, my
brethren, ez yoor boys do, or rather, did, when they went to Noo
Orleans, in the days when yoo hed a nigger or two wich yoo cood sell to
supply em with money. He played draw poker and faro; he drank fancy
drinks, and boarded at big hotels; and he follered after strange women,
wich'll bust a man quicker nor any one small sin the devil hez yet
invented, ez yoor pastor kin testify. Uv course, his pile give out, and
he got down, my friends, did this ingenuous yooth, to rags and
wretchedness, and ended in being an overseer uv swine.
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