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Locke, David Ross, 1833-1888

"His Letters To The Public Press, During The Year 1866."

Observe the
fitniss uv things. Bless the Lord, my brethren, for whisky and the
nigger; for, without em, there could be no Dimocrisy, and yoor beloved
speaker mite hev owned a farm in Noo Jersey, and bin a votin the whig
ticket to-day."
At this pint, a venerable old freedman, who wuz a sittin quietly in the
meetin, ariz, and asked ef he mite ask a question. Thinkin what a
splendid opportoonity there wood be uv demonstratin the sooperiority uv
the Caucashen over the Afrikin race, I answered "Yes," gladly.
"Well, Mas'r," sed the old imbecile, "is I a beest?"
"My venerable friend, there ain't nary doubt uv it."
"Is my old woman a old beastesses, too?"
"Indubitably," replied I.
"And my children--is they little beasts and beastesses?"
"Onquestionably."
"Den a yaller feller ain't but a half a beast, is he?"
"My friend," sed I, "that question is--"
"Hold on," sed he; "wat I wanted to git at is dis: dere's a heap uv
yaller fellers in dis section, whose fadders must hev bin white men;
and, ez der mudders wuz all beastesses, I want to know whedder dar ain't
no law in Kentucky agin--"
"Put him out!" "Kill the black wretch!" shouted a majority uv them who
hed bin the heaviest slave owners under the good old patriarkle system,
and they went for the old reprobate. At this pint, a officer uv the
Freedmen's Bureau, who we hedn't observed, riz, and, bustin with
laughter, remarked that his venerable friend shood have a chance to be
heerd.


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