I warmed up on this elokently. "Behold, my brethren, the beginnin uv
Dimocrasy," I sed. "Fust, the wine (which wuz the antetype of our
whisky) wuz the beginnin. Wine (or whisky) wuz necessary to the
foundation uv the party, and it wuz forthcomin. But the thing was not
complete. It did its work on Noer, but yet there wuz a achin void. There
was no _Nigger_ in the world, and without nigger there could be no
Dimocracy. Ham, my friends, wuz born a brother uv Japhet, and wuz like
unto him, and, uv course, could not be a slave. Whisky wuz the
instrument to bring him down; and it fetched him. Ham looked upon his
father, and was cust; and the void wuz filled. THERE WUZ NIGGER AND
WHISKY, and upon them the foundashuns uv the party wuz laid, broad and
deep. Methinks, my brethren, when Ham went out from the presence uv his
father, black in the face ez the ace uv spades (ef I may be allowed to
yoose the expression), bowin his back to the burdens Shem and Japhet
piled onto him with alacrity, that Democracy, then in the womb uv the
future, kicked lively, and clapped its hands. There wuz a nigger to
enslave, and whisky to bring men down to the pint uv enslavin him. There
wuz whisky to make men incapable uv labor; whisky to accompany horse
racin, and poker playin, and sich rational amoosements, and a nigger
cust especially that he mite sweat to furnish the means.
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