10 cent drinks.
5 cent sucks.
A flat flask conceeled.
A bottle openly.
Dimocrisy.
We lost our hold for two reasons. First, the poor likker we hev now
kills off our voters too fast; and the tax on whiskey forced two thirds
uv our people to quit suckin, and ez soon ez they begun to git on their
feet they jined the Ablishnists. Secondly, our leaders spozed there wuz
no lower stratum to dig into, and give up in disgust.
But I hev deskivered that lower stratum--I hev found it; and when the
idea flashed over my Websterian intelleck, I shouted Halleloogy! The
nigger is the lower stratum; and ef we bore down to it, and work it
thoroughly, we hev, at least, a twenty years' lease uv power.
We must cultivate the nigger. HE MUST HEV THE SUFFRAGE! It is a burnin
shame, that, in this Nineteenth Sentry, in the full blaze uv
intelligence, livin under a Deklarashun which declares all men "free and
ekal," that a large body uv men shood be denied the glorius privilege uv
bein taken up to the poles and voted. Is not the Afrikin a man? Is he
not taxed ez we are, and more than most uv the Democrisy, for many uv em
own property? Is he not amenable to all the laws, even ez we is? Then
why, I triumphantly ask, is he not entitled to a vote? Ah! why, indeed?
"But this is Ablishnism!" methinks I hear a obtoose Dimocrisy observe in
horrer.
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