He asshoored me that he hed the utmost regard for my
many virtues; but he diskivered that the one he prized the most I hedn't
so many uv, to wit, that uv payin for my likker. Therefore the account
mite be considered closed. Then, for the fust time in my life, I bleeved
in total depravity.
While musin, in a melonkoly mood, on this dark cloud wich fell across my
pathway, and the fall uv the Dimocratic party, I came onto a party of
men borin for ile. Then the trooth flashed over me. Their operations
showed me the way to success--the shoor path to triumph.
"When," said I to myself, "when men seek gain they bore for it. They go
down--never up." Even so with the Dimocrisy. We dug downward, downward,
downward, through all the strata uv society. We went through the
groceries; the next stratum was the most ignorant uv the furiners; then
we struck the poor whites uv the South; then, below them, the heft uv
the people uv Noo Gersy; then Southern Illinoy and Indiana; then Pike
county, Missouri; and so on. We never went upward for converts, cause
'twant no use. When a man wanted to jine us he alluz hed to come down.
We got lots of converts.
There was a regular slidin scale, which the heft uv Democrats who wuznt
born in the party hev slid down; to wit:--
Quarter dollar smiles.
15 cent nips.
Pages:
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43
44
45
46
47
48
49
50
51
52
53
54
55
56
57