He read em, and scanned me with a
critic's eye.
"Can't yoo make yoose uv sich a man ez me?" sez I, inquirinly.
"Certinly," sez he; "I kin and alluz hev. Its sich ez yoo I use to beet
the whigs with, and I am continyooally astonished to see how much work I
accomplish with sich dirty tools. My dear sir," sed he, pintin to the
door, "when I realize how many sich cusses ez yoo there is, and how
cheap they kin be bought up, I really tremble for the Republic."
I didn't get the office I wantid.
Yet ez much ez I love Washinton, I wuz forced to leave it. I mite hev
stayed there, but the trooth is, the planks uv that city and the
pavements are harder, and worse to sleep on, than those uv any other
city in the Yoonited Staits. I hed lived two months by passin myself off
ez Dimekratic Congressmen, but that cood only last a short time, there
not bein many uv that persuasion here to personate. I had gone the
rounds uv the House ez often ez it wuz safe, and one nite commenced on
the Senit. Goin into Willard's, I called for a go uv gin, wich the
gentlemanly and urbane bar keeper sot afore me, and I drank. "Put it
down with the rest uv mine," sez I, with a impressive wave uv the hand.
"Yoor name?" sez he.
Assoomin a intellectual look, I retorted, "Do you know Charles Sumner?"
[Illustration: DO YOU KNOW CHARLES SUMNER?]
Here I overdid it; here vaultin ambition o'er-leaped herself.
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