For a while I
listened to him with my mind half away somewhere else, but about half
way through his lecture, I began to realize that I should soon be in a
bad fix. I could not do, by any means, all he expected of me. He
expected that I should make myself an example to the students, should
become an object of admiration for the whole school or should exert my
moral influence, besides teaching technical knowledge in order to
become a real educator, or something ridiculously high-sounding. No man
with such admirable qualities would come so far away for only 40 yen a
month! Men are generally alike. If one gets excited, one is liable to
fight, I thought, but if things are to be kept on in the way the
principal says, I could hardly open my mouth to utter anything, nor take
a stroll around the place. If they wanted me to fill such an onerous
post, they should have told all that before. I hate to tell a lie; I
would give it up as having been cheated, and get out of this mess like a
man there and then. I had only about 9 yen left in my pocket after
tipping the hotel 5 yen. Nine yen would not take me back to Tokyo. I had
better not have tipped the hotel; what a pity! However, I would be able
to manage it somehow. I considered it better to run short in my return
expenses than to tell a lie.
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