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Twain, Mark, 1835-1910

"The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg"


Said he:
"Sho, _that's_ not the point! _That_ could happen--twice in a hundred
years--but not the other thing. _Neither_ of them gave the twenty
dollars!" [A ripple of applause.]
Billson. "I did!"
Wilson. "I did!"
Then each accused the other of pilfering.
The Chair. "Order! Sit down, if you please--both of you. Neither of
the notes has been out of my possession at any moment."
A Voice. "Good--that settles _that_!"
The Tanner. "Mr. Chairman, one thing is now plain: one of these men has
been eavesdropping under the other one's bed, and filching family
secrets. If it is not unparliamentary to suggest it, I will remark that
both are equal to it. [The Chair. "Order! order!"] I withdraw the
remark, sir, and will confine myself to suggesting that _if_ one of them
has overheard the other reveal the test-remark to his wife, we shall
catch him now."
A Voice. "How?"
The Tanner. "Easily. The two have not quoted the remark in exactly the
same words. You would have noticed that, if there hadn't been a
considerable stretch of time and an exciting quarrel inserted between the
two readings."
A Voice.


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