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Chambers, Robert W. (Robert William), 1865-1933

"The Green Mouse"

"
Mr. Carr jumped ponderously up and down in pure fury; his daughter
regarded him in calm consternation.
"I am so very, very sorry," she said; "but I am quite certain that I am
not going to fall in love----"
"You can't help it," roared her father, "if that instrument worked."
"Is--is that what it's f-for?"
"That's what it's invented for; that's why I'm putting a million into it.
Anybody on earth desiring to meet the person with whom they're destined,
some time or other, to fall in love, can come to us, in confidence, buy a
ticket, and be hitched on to the proper psychic connection which insures
speedy courtship and marriage--Damnation!"
"Pa-_pah!_"
"I can't help it! Any self-respecting, God-fearing father would swear! Do
you think I ever expected to have my daughters mixed up with this
machine? My daughters wooed, engaged and married by _machinery!_ And
you're only eighteen; do you hear me? I won't have it! I'll certainly not
have it!"
"But, dear, I don't in the least intend to fall in love and marry at
eighteen. And if--_he_--really--comes, I'll tell him very frankly that I
could not think of falling in love. I'll quietly explain that the machine
went off by mistake and that I am only eighteen; and that Flavilla and
Drusilla and I are not to come out until next winter. That," she added
innocently, "ought to hold him."
"The thing to do," said her father, gazing fixedly at her, "is to keep
you in your room until you're twenty!"
"Oh, Pa-_pah!_"
Mr.


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