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Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville), 1881-1975

"Mike and Psmith"

Give you a nice start in life."
"I'm not talking about your rotten puzzle."
"What _are_ you talking about?"
"That ass Downing. I believe he's off his nut."
"Then your chat with Comrade Downing was not of the
old-College-chums-meeting-unexpectedly-after-years'-separation type?
What has he been doing to you?"
"He's off his nut."
"I know. But what did he do? How did the brainstorm burst? Did he jump
at you from behind a door and bite a piece out of your leg, or did he
say he was a teapot?"
Mike sat down.
"You remember that painting-Sammy business?"
"As if it were yesterday," said Psmith. "Which it was, pretty nearly."
"He thinks I did it."
"Why? Have you ever shown any talent in the painting line?"
"The silly ass wanted me to confess that I'd done it. He as good as
asked me to. Jawed a lot of rot about my finding it to my advantage
later on if I behaved sensibly."
"Then what are you worrying about? Don't you know that when a master
wants you to do the confessing act, it simply means that he hasn't
enough evidence to start in on you with? You're all right. The thing's a
stand-off."
"Evidence!" said Mike. "My dear man, he's got enough evidence to sink a
ship.


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