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Quiller-Couch, Arthur Thomas, Sir, 1863-1944

"Foe-Farrell"

'The question is,
what do you propose to do? I place myself in your hands,
unreservedly.'
"I managed to murmur that she did me honour. 'But with your leave,
ma'am,' said I, 'we'll defer that point for a moment while you tell
me how on earth you have managed to change places with my friend,
whom with my own eyes I saw enter this vehicle. It must have been a
lightning change anyhow: for all the way from Piccadilly I have been
priding myself on our speed.'
"'Change places?' she exclaimed. 'Change places? I'm a respectable
married woman, young sir: and as such I'd ask you what else was due
to myself when he sat down on my lap without even being interjuiced?'
"I made a step to the door of the taxi, but turned and came back.
'He's inside, then?' I asked.
"'Of course he's inside,' she retorted. 'What d'you take me for?
A body-snatcher? Inside he is, and snoring like a pig. Wake him up
and ask him if I've be'aved short of a lady from the first.'
"'He's incapable of it, ma'am,' said I. 'Or, rather, I should say,
_you_ are incapable of it. By which I mean that my friend is
incapable of--er--involving you otherwise than innocently in a
situation of which--er--you are both incapable, respectively.


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