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"The Man from Home"

Well, I shouldn't be surprised. Ain't you an
American?
HORACE. I happen to have been born in the States.
PIKE [amiably]. Well, that _was_ luck!
HORACE [turning as if to go]. Will you kindly excuse me?
PIKE. Hold on a minute! I'm looking for some Americans here, and I
expect you know 'em--boy and girl named Simpson.
HORACE. Is there any possibility that you mean Granger-Simpson?
[His tone is both alarmed and truculent.]
PIKE [much pleased]. No, sir; just plain Simpson. Granger's their middle
name. That's for old Jed Granger, grandfather on their ma's side.
[He pronounces "ma" with the broad Hoosier accent--"maw."]
I want to see 'em both, but it's the girl I'm rilly looking for.
HORACE [trembling, but speaking even more haughtily]. Will you be good
enough to state any possible reason why Miss Granger-Simpson should see
you?
PIKE [in profound surprise, yet mildly]. Reason--why, yes--I'm her
guardian.
[ETHEL lifts her hand to her forehead as if dizzy. MADAME DE CHAMPIGNY
puts an arm around her. ETHEL recovers herself and stands rigidly,
staring at PIKE.]
HORACE [staggered]. What!
PIKE [smiling]. Yes, sir, Daniel Voorhees Pike, attorney at law, Kokomo,
Indiana.
[HORACE falls back from him in horror.]
[HAWCASTLE, excited but cool, makes a quick, imperative gesture to LADY
CREECH, who majestically sweeps up to ETHEL, kisses her on the forehead
in lofty pity, and sweeps out.


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