"Nor, is it only the self-made man to whom these remarks apply. Take,
for example, the Czar of Russia, the Emperor of Germany, or any
other potentate, Christian or heathen, civilized or savage, great or
small. He has more trouble to the square inch than a weather prophet.
Nicholas III is probably the worst off of them all. He gets up early
in the morning and shaves himself with a safety razor, while the court
chemist is analyzing his breakfast for traces of arsenic or prussic
acid; then he dons his bullet-proof coat, descends a private stairway
to a bomb-proof drawing-room and receives his meals on a dumb-waiter
from the laboratory with the chemist's certificate that all injurious
substances have been removed.
[Illustration: Nicholas III, shaving.]
"This is the latest method, an official taster having been formerly
employed, but owing to the exorbitant rate of insurance on such
officers and the rapid decimation of the royal retinue, that plan was
recently abandoned. After finishing his repast the Czar receives the
morning papers, previously disinfected, and after reading the news,
sentences a few nihilists to death by means of a long-distance
telephone.
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