"He can go to some secluded hamlet, inquire as to the probable date
of the next birth in the neighborhood, and, when things are in shape,
he can blow out the gas some night and wake up the next morning as a
new-born babe, with all the elements of greatness strong upon him.
"When this fact becomes generally known, people will donate their
funds to charitable institutions and move to the country to raise
future presidents, senators and merchant princes; there will be an
epidemic of suicide among the idle rich, and the birth-rate of our
rural districts will increase a hundredfold; the population of cities
will be sadly decimated; waste lands will be cleared and cultivated,
as if by magic, and, a generation hence, there will come forth from
the agricultural regions a host of young toilers with Destiny's
diploma for future greatness in their pockets."
The Observer was so wrapped up in his prophecy that he missed his shot
by fully half an inch and put the wrong end of his cigar in his mouth.
After carefully wiping the ashes out of his teeth and kicking the
proprietor's cat, he resumed:
"I rather got off the subject, and don't want you to put me down
as endorsing reincarnation, either, but when I hear a lot of folks
talking about what a great man So-and-So was; how he had to get up
before daylight to chop wood and feed the stock, in order to get to
school on time, I say to myself, 'What Tommyrot! As if Providence
didn't have it all fixed for him.
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