"His worst crack, though, was when a man of great local prominence,
who stood high with the people, died and it fell to G.'s lot to
describe the funeral ceremonies and eulogize the deceased. G.'s
mother-in-law had just arrived and the poor fellow was so badly
rattled that he got hold of the 'bull-dog' instead of the brier and
made the Hon. G. out the grandest rascal who had ever preyed upon the
vitals of a law-abiding community. The only thing that saved his neck
this time was the fact that it all turned out to be true and his paper
got the credit of a 'scoop.' After that he had a little case made to
hold all four of his pipes, with a strap to go around his neck--and I
guess he sleeps with it now.
"They say that Guttenberg conceived the notion of the printing press
while taking an after-dinner smoke; that Stephenson's ideas of steam
locomotion came to him through the curling wreaths of his favorite
Virginia; and that Morse figured out the telegraph with a pipe in
his mouth. I never could corroborate these statements, though I don't
doubt them a bit.
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