' This
is ambiguous enough to warrant the supposition that their object is
the compulsory introduction of some patented device for clearing the
atmosphere of Pittsburg and other manufacturing towns, but their real
aim is to discourage the use of tobacco. Now, of all the human pests
which afflict the long-suffering public, the anti-smoke agitator
is about the worst. Why, man alive! what would become of the human
race without tobacco? It is the grease which lubricates the Wheel
of Evolution. Since the time of Sir Walter Raleigh civilization
has advanced more rapidly by one hundred per cent. Nearly all great
inventors, artists and writers owe their inspiration to the pipe.
"A very successful newspaper man whom I know has four different pipes
and each serves a special purpose. When he wants to write a humorous
article, he says to his wife, 'Where is my funny pipe?' and she hands
him a long-handled affair with a weichsel-wood bowl and a cherry stem
that has a kind of rakish, good-natured curve to it. Then he sits
down and grinds out copy that will make an Englishman laugh at first
sight.
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