There were
times when Jim's nerves were shaken in his struggle against the unseen
foe, and he had spoken to her querulously, almost sharply. Yet in her
tears there was no reproach for him, rather for herself--the fear that
she might lose her influence over him, that she could not keep him close
to her heart, that he might drift away from her in the commonplaces and
monotony of work and domestic life. Everything so depended on her being
to him not only the one woman for whom he cared, but the woman without
whom he could care for nothing else.
"Oh, my God, give me his love," she had prayed. "Let me keep it yet a
little while. For his sake, not for my own, let me have the power to
hold his love. Make my mind always quiet, and let me blow neither hot
nor cold. Help me to keep my temper sweet and cheerful, so that he will
find the room empty where I am not, and his footsteps will quicken when
he comes to the door. Not for my sake, dear God, but for his, or my
heart will break--it will break unless Thou dost help me to hold him.
O Lord, keep me from tears; make my face happy that I may be goodly to
his eyes, and forgive the selfishness of a poor woman who has little,
and would keep her little and cherish it, for Christ's sake.
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