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Bramah, Ernest, 1869?-1942

"The Mirror of Kong Ho"

So
entrancing did this contemplation grow, that this outrageous person
began to compose the actual words with which he would instruct them as
the occasion arose, as thus, "Undoubtedly, O virtuous and not
unattractive maiden, this fire-engine will ultimately lead your
refined footsteps into the street called Those who Bake Food. Do not
hesitate, therefore, to occupy the vacant place by this insignificant
one's side"; or, "By no means, honourable sir; the Cross of Charing is
in the precisely opposite direction to that selected by this
self-opinionated machine for its inopportune destination. Do not
rebuke this person for his immoderate loss of mental gravity, for your
mistake, though pardonable in a stranger, is really excessively
diverting. Your most prudent course now will assuredly be to cast
yourself from the carriage without delay and rely upon the benevolent
intervention of a fire-chariot proceeding backwards."
Alas, it is truly said, "None but sword-swallowers should endeavour to
swallow swords," thereby signifying the vast chasm that lies between
those who are really adroit in an undertaking and those who only think
that they may easily become so. Presently it began to become deeply
impressed upon my discrimination that the journey was taking a more
lengthy duration than I had been given to understand would be the
case, while at the same time a permanent deliverance from the terrors
of the Beneath Parts seemed to be insidiously lengthening out into a
funereal unattainableness.


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